Chloë is our new ‘agony queen’. She invites you to take a chair, tell her your problems and await her judgement.
I have a gorgeous new boyfriend. I have been seeing him for around a year now and he is everything I have dreamed of. He’s handsome, own job and car, buys me lots of presents and takes me out a lot, and on our many photos on Instagram he looks like a celeb. He is really nice to me and has a great body thanks to his job. There is just one big issue for me – his Birmingham accent. As soon as he opens his mouth I cringe and sometimes I am embarrassed to introduce him to my friends. I thought I was being extreme, but I recently met his family and his accent is actually quite tame compared to them! He has talked about getting more serious but this is a major issue for me. My friends say I deserve the best, and am wondering if its best to call it quits and continue the search for my Mr Perfect, or to ask him to learn to speak in a more neutral way? Claire Ann, 29, London
You poor princess! You have an adonis boyfriend who seemingly worships you, treats you like a goddess but speaks with a Brummie accent? Woe is you! Lose that zero and get yourself a hero, girl!
Let’s take the express train back from fairyland back to reality town. You are in an otherwise fantastic relationship with a gorgeous fella who treats you well. That is enough. In fact it is more than enough. Yet your letter implies you see the relationship as being less than serious, despite you seeing each other for a whole year. His Birmingham dialect might not be the top of everyone’s lists of favourite accents but is that really a reason to call off the relationship? How will you cope if his hair starts greying or heaven forbid something more serious happens like him falling ill or losing his job? Everyone has minor imperfections and a sign of maturity is looking past those and seeing the whole person. Like the girls on TV dating shows who reject fit fellas simply because they are wearing a t-shirt they don’t like, you risk losing a fantastic guy simply because you cannot see the bigger picture. Look at this the other way round, how upset would you be if he told you he was having doubts about your relationship because he couldn’t get his head round dating someone with a double-barrel first name like yours. You would be pretty miffed I suspect?
Do not hold too much value in your friends’ advice either. They either want you to secretly split up so they can start dating him or are flattering your ego. Will they be giving you the same advice in twenty years time when you are all alone in a dingy flat surrounded by cats, regretting you choice to split up with your current boyfriend, and still desperately hoping for the ‘perfect’ one? I suspect not.
You therefore have two choices. Choice one is dump him and search for your ‘Mr Right’. Or choice two accept him for who he is and celebrate him, his body, his soul and his accent.
My advice to you is the latter. Go out and buy the Peaky Blinders box set, watch it, then ask your man to dress up as Tommy Shelby. I am excited for you!