Chloë is our new ‘agony queen’. She invites you to take a chair, tell her your problems and await her judgement.

Dear Chloë,

Hi! I have been speaking to this guy for a few weeks now – we met on tinder but have talked on the phone and everything. He’s after a relationship as he said he’s had enough of one night stands. His weekday replies are slow because he’s still working from home which I understand and weekends he would reply more. However the last few days whenever I have sent a message / picture and I can see it it would be opened and ignored. Now I’m not saying we’re girlfriend/ boyfriend at all but surely if you don’t want to talk to anyone anymore you should have the decency to tell the person so they stop bothering you? Basically should I ask what’s going on or just leave it. I do like him and we have similar interests and I don’t want to come across as needy but I feel I should know if I’m just wasting my time or not. What should I do/not do and say/not say? Please help! Megan

Hi Megan. Sadly, I think you need to reign in your expectations. Dating apps and virtual meets are unfortunately not always for those wanting long-term commitment.

Sure he might say that is what he wants, but was it just a throw away phrase on his profile that he knew would attract more attention from girls?

I might be doing him a dis-service – perhaps he is super busy and hasn’t had time to reply to any of your texts. But how long does it take to answer a text? One minute…twenty seconds?

If you want closure my advice here is to send a simple text saying ‘Not heard back from you in a while, so I will not bother you any more. Wishing you the best’. It will give you closure and you end it in a much classier way than you have been treated. If he decides to answer, then at least you are the person in control as to whether to move the relationship forward or not. Good luck!

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